writeasrayne:

xopachi:

skwinky:

lntruding:


Have you ever been to earth?
On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:
You’re an idiot.
Let me further explain:
Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.
Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.
When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.
And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:
Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.
Nope.
My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.
You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.
And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.
What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.
I just want a burrito.
In conclusion:
You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.



UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:
A fucking fork?
I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.
If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.
That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.
Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.
A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.
People eat burritos with forks?
God is sorry he made us.
(Source)


I always need this on my blog.

I can’t be laughing this hard in the morning. 

I made it to the line about the empire of sour cream before I started laughing. The rest after was just weezing and crying mixed with trying to breathe.
I need to see this today, I swear to god.

writeasrayne:

xopachi:

skwinky:

lntruding:

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.


UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)

I always need this on my blog.

I can’t be laughing this hard in the morning. 

I made it to the line about the empire of sour cream before I started laughing. The rest after was just weezing and crying mixed with trying to breathe.

I need to see this today, I swear to god.

(via battywitch)

tangled-rose:

blackpoemusic:

readabookson:

The Trouble Between Us: An Uneasy History of White and Black Women in the Feminist Movement

https://anonfiles.com/file/877975186837dbbbcd57d841ffe5c26e

Segregated Sisterhood: Racism Politics American Feminism

https://anonfiles.com/file/bbe6cc9f05335a8144fa0be2098a06e8

Black Sexual Politics: African Americans, Gender, and the New Racism

https://anonfiles.com/file/6923ebcd172d45425d86da18c1926644

Black Feminist Thought: Knowledge, Consciousness, and the Politics of Empowerment

https://anonfiles.com/file/b4994a81e4c9747e42e1d5209e206dae

Ain’t I a Woman: Black Women and Feminism

https://anonfiles.com/file/81b95aa8e335602d1627e178361c8a72

Feminism Is For Everybody: Passionate Politics

https://anonfiles.com/file/5a31a895c6f4d226dd0ef07f88c8cbfd

The Womanist Reader: The First Quarter Century of Womanist Thought

https://anonfiles.com/file/dd9f429a320aab3076764568ae9be545

Black Feminist Voices in Politics

https://anonfiles.com/file/fb475479b90b47a6eebaf426840c9a29

Living for the Revolution: Black Feminist Organizations, 1968–1980

https://anonfiles.com/file/22aa61fc8933bb1dd59539d6a2662720

Reblogging for future reference

(via witchyscrafts)

teroknortailor:

boi-interrupted:

luxuryon:

How to build a dome

All Photos © Steve Areen

This is awesome.

this is some tattooine level shit right here

(via thecarvingwitch)

2ndhalfoflife:

Submitted without comment.

Drinking you isn’t the right thing to doHow can I ever change the need for you?
If I could, latte I’d give you my worldHow can I when I drank you already?
You foam your own wayOh foam your own wayYou can call it another latte day…

2ndhalfoflife:

Submitted without comment.

Drinking you isn’t the right thing to do
How can I ever change the need for you?

If I could, latte I’d give you my world
How can I when I drank you already?

You foam your own way
Oh foam your own way
You can call it another latte day…

(Source: unabating)

naturepunk:

pugletto:

kamidoodles:

cuzimshort:

lifeofkj:

cheesiestart:

jambandit:

dalishmarshmallow:

apeacebone:

finnglas:

holyja:

dragondances:

indevan:

dr-killjoy:

saintwerewolf:

Hi I’m feeling sad please can you reblog this and add a picture of your pet please.

image

image

image

image

image

image

imageimage

image

image

image

image

image

image

There were way too many cats.

image

NEVER ENOUGH CATS

My tiny guy, back when he was tiny.

Come on. Nothing is sweeter than a tiny one-eyed cat.

Canto General--A New Translation for a New Generation!


I love poetry. This seems like a worthy place to put a few extra dollars, if you have them. In the very least, keep an eye out for this translation!

Don’t mind me, just reblogging everything from you tonight.

Don’t mind me, just reblogging everything from you tonight.

(Source: dandelion-wish-blr, via bibliophilicwitch)

soarry:

I will know my life is successful when I have a library with a rolling ladder

(via bibliophilicwitch)

manticore-monster:

locker-panda:


Netflix took April Fool’s a bit too far this year.

Now that’s just mean

Rude

manticore-monster:

locker-panda:

Netflix took April Fool’s a bit too far this year.

Now that’s just mean

Rude

(Source: crocs5evabruh, via tacticalsnake)

bibliophilicwitch:

daggerpen:

sufficetogay:

youveupsettits:

get-your-ass-in-the-impala:

nurderling:

Watch this video from Cadillac. Note a few things (actor, white, rich guy, workaholic, typical cocky American, very unrealistic). This is not a parody video, they’re being completely serious.

Now watch Ford’s response.

I can’t explain it very well just please watch both of these videos okay Ford burns Cadillac so bad okay it’s so good.

"That’s the upside of giving a damn."

You better hope winter is coming, bitch. You’re gonna need it for that burn.

Holy SHIT.

Ford fucking laying down the damn law.

Ha! Go Ford.

Oh my god, FORD

I’m now really fucking proud of my little Ford Focus

(Source: nurdeling, via battywitch)

cyalen:

a book fountain in Budapest

cyalen:

a book fountain in Budapest

(via auzrieal)